It is very important to learn about the consequences of abortion, to be able to understand what the mother went through.
Rape might not be THAT common, but it is still a cause of abortion.
Improvement:
Let me speak in second person -
You should be more... expressive. Don't look like you are a tape recorder, playing what was recorded in your mind. The facts are enough, and that's good...
2 comments:
2 learning points:
It is very important to learn about the consequences of abortion, to be able to understand what the mother went through.
Rape might not be THAT common, but it is still a cause of abortion.
Improvement:
Let me speak in second person -
You should be more... expressive. Don't look like you are a tape recorder, playing what was recorded in your mind. The facts are enough, and that's good...
Very articulate. But PLEASE work on:
Put why you abhor abortion at the end, not at the start.
Practice so you do not have the pauses, or use iMovie to cut them out.
The haunting part at the end. Use scientific stuff PLEASE.
~RL
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